That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
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We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
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Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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