not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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