Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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