saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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