Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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