Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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