At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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