SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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