btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize