I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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