I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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