My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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