i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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