But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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