the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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