he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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