to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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