He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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