youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
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We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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