I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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