Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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