why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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