Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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