did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize