Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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