It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
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So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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