I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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