Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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