DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
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Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
All I want is dick and wine.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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