He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize