OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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