best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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