I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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