distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She bit a glass in half.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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