Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize