You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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