Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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