Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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