So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
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I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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