May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize