i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
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