Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize