I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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