He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
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That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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