That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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