Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
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I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
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I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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