My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize