you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize