can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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