is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
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She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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